Why I travel solo even when I’m in a relationship

When I travel solo while being in a relationship, I often get questions like:

“Oh… you have a boyfriend? Where is he?”
“He lets you travel all by yourself? WTF?”

And then come the looks of disbelief and suspicion.

There seems to be this odd misconception that only single women travel solo—or that if you do have a partner, the relationship must not be very serious. Married women traveling alone for fun? No way! Impossible!
And yet… we exist.

I can understand how this might be surprising in some non-Western cultures, where the idea of women traveling alone is still fairly new. In those places, people are only just beginning to get used to the concept of solo female travel. I get it—it’s outside their norm.

What surprises me, though, is when the same reaction comes from people in the West. People who pride themselves on female empowerment and independence. And yet…

“Does your husband allow it?”

Allow?! What age are we living in? I may be married, but I aint no prisoner!

I love traveling with my partner. But when he’s not in the mood for travel or can’t take time off, I don’t let that stop me from spreading my wings. I travel solo even though I’m in a relationship—and here’s why I love it:

 

Meeting a different crowd

When I travel with my partner, we naturally gravitate towards people we both vibe with. But when I’m on my own, I connect with a completely different crowd—people I may not have met otherwise.

As a couple, you (often unconsciously) take each other’s personalities into account. You’re less likely to start conversations with someone you know your partner wouldn’t click with. Alone, I end up making friends with a much wider and more eclectic mix of people.

 

Reconnecting with myself

You’re on your own, you call all the shots. Where to go, what to eat, whether to party, who to talk to—it’s all up to you.

But with that freedom comes full responsibility. There’s no one else to blame when things go wrong or a museum turns out to be a snooze-fest. That solitude pushes you to tune into your own likes and dislikes. It forces you to hear your voice louder and clearer—no external filter, no partner’s preferences shaping your decisions.

You rediscover who you are, without the influence of your most trusted person. It’s eye-opening.

 

Indulging in those guilty pleasures

Some things, I’d rather not do when my partner’s around. Mostly girly things or weird little quirks—like chowing down on a McDonald’s burger and a large Coke, something he’s philosophically opposed to.
I’m not a huge fan myself, but once in a blue moon, when I’m on the road, I want to indulge in a nutritionally-bankrupt, environmentally-dodgy meal. When I travel solo, I can do that without judgment—no guilt, just greasy satisfaction.

 

Confidence boost

In a relationship, you become a team. You start relying on each other—it’s comforting, it’s beautiful, it works. But I also believe it’s important to stay functional on your own. Sometimes we forget how strong and capable we are on our own.

When I travel alone, I’m reminded of that Dealing with scams, navigating a new city, haggling with a taxi driver—it’s all on me. There’s no one to fall back on. And guess what? I manage.

It’s easy to forget your own strength when you’re used to sharing the load. I had completely forgotten how fierce I can be when bargaining with hotel staff—because Douglas usually handles that while I sit on the bags.

Taking care of everything solo is a serious confidence boost. It sharpens forgotten skills, toughens you up, and reminds you: I’ve got this.

 

Exceptional experiences

This isn’t strictly related to being in a relationship, but it’s worth a mention.

Every time I travel solo—even for a few days—I seem to get invited into something totally unusual and unexpected. I don’t know if people feel sorry for the “poor lady with no friends or family,” or if solo travelers are just more approachable, but I’ve been welcomed into: weddings involving elephants, marlin fishing, photo shoots, secret turtle hatching spots, wool spinning sessions, VIP champagne parties, coffee harvesting… As a couple, we get these kinds of invitations too —just not nearly as often. There’s something about being alone that opens more doors.

 

Relationship boost

This one’s not really a reason—it’s a bonus.

Finding strength in yourself, having time to be you, and giving each other space to miss one another… all of it contributes to a warm reunion and a stronger connection. You return home with stories to tell, a fresh appreciation for each other, and a little glow from doing something bold and independent.

And yes, it requires trust—but that trust is also what strengthens the relationship in the long run.

If you’re in a relationship and planning to travel solo, here are a few tips from experience:

• Talk it through beforehand. What are your expectations around communication while you’re away? A daily check-in? A few updates per week? Get on the same page—and respect the agreement.

• Don’t travel to your partner’s dream destination without them. Obvious, but important. Save that special spot to share together.

• Don’t stay away too long. I’ve found 10 days is the sweet spot. More than 12 starts to feel a bit too much—but everyone’s different. Do what works for you.

• Bring a photo of the two of you. Sometimes people assume you’re making up your significant other. Having a photo handy can save you a lot of hassle.

• Ladies, the fake (or real) wedding ring trick doesn’t cut it anymore. If you’re going to lie, make it count. Add fake children to the mix. Solo woman with a husband? Suspicious. Solo mom of twins? Nobody questions that. 

• If approached by someone sketchy, never admit you’re traveling alone. Just say your husband/friends are waiting for you back at the hotel.

 

Have you ever leisurely traveled solo while being in a relationship? Would you?

The post “Why I travel solo even when  I’m in a relationship” first appeared on Travel Cake.